New use

Josh discovered a new way to ride a skateboard this weekend...

Dear Santa,

You are scary.
Love,
Josh

sometimes dreams do come true!

Here's proof:

it's true what they say

boys will be boys!

Merry Christmas!

no words.

it's a tie...

How I love little boys, particularly mine.

We are so lucky, Jon & I. First, we were blessed with 2 amazing little girls. Girly girls, I might add! They certainly didn't learn their love of all things pink from me. Rather, it was in their blood. For 3 straight years, it was all about Barbies, princesses, nail polish & even make up. But then Josh came along and began to balance things out a bit. Where princess costumes once covered the floors lie wooden train tracks & mini skateboards. And a little more than a year and a half later, along came little Sam to even out the score. Don't get me wrong I could't love these two any more than I already do...

But it sure is fun going at life with an even score!

you mess with the bull...

he's ready for kindergarten

today as joshua was pushing along his one true love (garbage truck), he was singing the abc's! i didn't know that he could do that, so it was a neat surprise!

so tonight as i was baking a cake i decided to let him count the eggs all by himself...it went something like this:

"one, two, thwee, more, fibe!"

awesome!

zoom!

i have to get this on video, because he is suprisingly fast!

he's officially...

sweetheart with a sweet tooth...

we had a fun halloween weekend, and ate more than our share of candy & treats. on friday, abby brought home some left over cupcakes from her class party. there was one left on saturday morning that she was "saving for later." when joshua woke up he quickly spotted it, picked it up, licked the top (covering it in snots), needless to say his territory was marked. abby was upset. i told her not to feel bad, that it probably didn't taste too good because it was a day old. i couldn't get the whole sentence out before joshua started "mmmmmmmm"ing.  then he said "abba, this is soooo nummy!"

nothing like a healthy breakfast to start the day off right, right!?!
so the kid's got a sweet tooth. can't fault him for that, after all, i'm pretty sure i know where he gets it.

 

but eating cookie dough balls? this is where i draw the line! i had a few cookie sheets lined up, waiting for their turn in the oven, when callie yelled, "mom, josh is eating your cookies!"

this is the look on his face when he knows he's in big trouble. his punishment...no more cookie dough.

besties

the other night when i was putting joshua to sleep, as he drifted off he quietly said, "momma, i miss peter." it was incredibly sweet & genuine.

joshie's cousin pete recently moved about 2 hours away (an eternity in kid-time).

you see, peter is more than just a playmate, he's joshua's best buddy.  they've been causing trouble together since they were newborn babes.

they've taught each other many things - some naughty & some nice.

such as how to walk!

& how to wrap a grown adult around a teeny, tiny finger.

peter, we want you to know, that while you may be far away, we think of you often & can't wait to see you again soon!

life isn't the same without you little buddy!

more of the same

remember last week when i said that josh was "acting up" a bit? well, not much has changed this week. but i can't help but love the little guy! maybe a bucket full of candy on halloween will straighten him up!?! i'll keep you posted.

(today he picked off my colon/semi-colon button...you thought i learned my lesson? nope.)

i'm hopeful for a brighter tomorrow!

(to be fair, much of his craziness is in good fun!)

i couldn't agree more...

i'm feeling the same as josh in this picture. today he decided to pick the keys off my laptop key board. no more shift key, no more caps lock (g key, ctrl key and 'up arrow' hanging on by a thread). it feels so un-natural avoiding the shift key.
later he decided to tear the pages out of abby's library book. not cool josh.
i'm mad at you.


okay, maybe not mad, but if i were to ever get mad at you, i'd totally be mad at you right now. 

another good report!

Before Joshua's appointment he helped me pack his backpack with his favorite DVD, toys and treats. He was so proud of himself, I think he felt like he was going to school, but he knew where we were actually going & was a little nervous about the whole situation. But we did our best to spin it like it'd be neat to go watch his movie & see Dr. Rivera.
He had his echo on Wednesday & did awesome through it. He laid down in the dark room, tapping his foot to the music on his DVD & eating popcorn...livin' the high life!
Dr. Rivera came in at the end of the echo & told me how good his heart looked. He said that it was squeezing well & the leak is trivial. He said overall, he's very happy with how Joshua's heart looks. Thank heaven!
This morning we took Joshua in for his EKG, chest x-ray, blood work as well as consultation. Joshua did really well again. He's such a big boy & I'm really proud of him. The hardest part was the blood draw (as always), but even that went pretty well. He sat there, very brave & offered up his little arm to the tech. He starred at the guy with those big baby blues & I got a little teary eyed. I hate blood draws SO much. He cried, but held still & it only took one poke & no digging.  That was the best case scenario.
 We haven't gotten the results of the chest x-ray, but everything else was great!

Dr. Rivera said that he is probably just getting out of breath due to the 4lbs he put on, over the passed 4 months.  He told us Josh needs to adjust. But, he has no worries. He said, "You do not need to treat Joshua like he's special. He is just fine." What he meant by that is; let him live a normal life, don't baby him.  If only he knew the trouble Joshua gets into! The only "special" treatment he gets is that we go easy on him when he's being a dickens!

After all, he's a little boy, and while he may only have half a heart, he does what he pleases!

winded

Over the past couple of weeks I've noticed Josh has been getting short of breath at times when he normally wouldn't. It has gotten to the point that climbing the stairs leaves him huffing & puffing for a couple of minutes. It makes me so sad to see him work hard doing everyday activities. I know that it comes with the territory, but for so long he's shown no signs that he has any health issues. So I guess I've convinced myself that he's healthy, when in reality he's got a very serious heart defect.  I do my best not to dwell on "what if..." because I just want to enjoy every second while he's thriving. I don't want to waste that time worrying, & then one day look back at his life with regret that we didn't enjoy it, rather we spent all of our time worrying. I guess everyone copes with a sick child in their own way, but for me, denial works just fine.  I feel like it's healthy, I feel like it allows him to live a totally normal life. Maybe I'm wrong.
Anyway, I can't deny that I see him struggling a bit more each day and so we're headed in to see Dr. Rivera  tomorrow. I can't imagine him saying "He's doing great!" like we're so used to hearing. I don't see how that can be possible, based off his shortness of breath over the past few weeks. 
I am praying that he just needs a "tune up" in the form of a cath. I say that as if it's easy. It isn't, but it's better than the alternative.
Anyway, that's the latest, please pray that Joshua will remain as strong and healthy as possible. Also that his nerves will be calmed as he goes through another day of appointments. Thank you so much for checking in on Joshua. I'll update when I know what's going on (that's the plan anyway).

2 much!

Joshua recently turned 2 & I never gave him a proper birthday post. I've been a little busy I guess, but he deserves a post...and I want to look back and remember what he was doing at this age so here we go:
At age 2 Josh continues to impress us. He speaks in sentences, he tells jokes, he loves to push Callie's buttons (he good at it too), he is obsessed with holding hands (usually mine are his favorite, but he'll take Abby's if I'm busy), he is very close with Abby, he has a big appetite, he loves to play outside and he climbs up everything!  I could go on, but you get the idea!
He had his 2 year check up with the pediatrician & he was pretty nervous the whole time.  He asked his doctor about 50 times "Doctor, you gonna hurt me?" The doctor replied (every time Josh asked), "No, but I am going to examine you." 
He did such a good job sitting there & allowing the doctor to do his thing, even though he was clearly skeptical. We are officially past the age where he just screams & points to the door wanting to leave. He's growing up fast.   
All in all, Josh is doing much better than I ever anticipated at age 2. I am so proud of my boy. He has exceeded all of our expectations & I love watching him progress each day!
I am often asked if his heart is "better" now. Unfortunately the answer to that is no. His heart is functioning as well as it can currently, however, his heart will never be a normal heart. He needs one more surgery to complete the staged palliation. We don't know when that surgery will be, although I can feel it on the horizon. It is typically done when a child weighs about 30lbs. Josh weighs about 26lbs. I imagine it'll take him about a year to put on those last few pounds (I've considered with-holding food so he doesn't reach that mark for a l-o-n-g time).  After he has that surgery his heart will function more efficiently.  Even post surgery he won't be "better"...but ideally his heart will function well for him. Eventually he will need a heart transplant, but we are hopeful that it will be in the very distant future. 
So there you have it. I often assume that the only people who follow this blog are fellow heart moms, but there may be a few others who aren't familiar with HLHS. Consider youself lucky!
Anyway, back to the point of this post....my boy is 2!

Happy Birthday! I love, love, love you!

a little confused

This morning I was giving Joshua a hair cut and he was only wearing a diaper. I noticed him looking at his scar & then he said in his best tattle-tale tone "Momma, Abby pinched me heart."
I played along and asked him, "Really? Is that what happened?"

He told me, "Yeah, and she poked me too!" pointing to his chest tube scars.

He's already using his scars to his advantage...silly little boy! I've got to hand it to him, that was pretty clever!

(the pictures have nothing to do with the story, although they illustrate what a crazy he is!)

yep, he's 2 alright!

Happy Birthday, you dickens!
(more on his big day to follow)

2 months & 2 years

Sam just turned 2 months old & Josh will be 2 years on Thursday...I love my boys!

finally!

check this out if you haven't yet!

who's who?

The top left is a freebie.
How about the rest - Josh or Sam?
Pictures of Josh without all of the tubes are hard to come by at an early age, but hopefully I've thrown you off!

little mr.

Not a lot new with my little guy. He is doing really well & is such a chatter box. I thought my girls were chatty (okay, they are definitely chatty) but he is non-stop! His favorite things to say lately are:
"Awwwwww, baby's cuuuuuuute!"
"That's cool."
"Oh me gosh!"
The other day my mom was babysitting Josh while I took his big sister to the dentist. My dad said he heard my mom having a conversation with someone in the other room, and was surprised to realize it was little Josh. You can totally hold a conversation with him, he's speaking that well!
In about two weeks he'll turn 2! I can't believe it. Part of me can't remember life before Josh, it seems like he's been with us forever. Then there's a part of me who remembers our first ultrasound like it was yesterday. So many emotions.
No plans yet for his Birthday, but it's sure to be a special day!

6 weeks

So my little Sam is 6 weeks old. He's been such a sweet baby & we have enjoyed every second of it! He is as good as he is chubby!
Can you believe that we spent Joshua's first 6 weeks in the ICU?
I much prefer laying around the house holding my new little bundle, to standing bedside for hours on end (and all that that entailed).

But, I would do it again for Joshua, without hesitation. I love this kid so much!

fun at funderland!

Yet again our amazing support group put together one heck of a party! This was our 'End of Summer Bash' & it was more fun than you could imagine! It was held at Funderland, which is basically an amusement park for little guys. We rode rides until we were blue in the face (excuse the pun), ate pizza until our bellies hurt & enjoyed shaved ice until we got a brain freeze! It made for an amazing evening!

I think this was the only ride they wouldn't let Joshua on & he wasn't too happy about it. He stood there & watched his sisters zoom by, screaming loudly & longed to join in the fun...but rules are rules & he was just too short. Maybe next year!

(The always hilarious Gina pointed out, if you look closely at this picture you'll see that the sign says the ride is not for people with cardiac conditions, this was posted on every ride at the park...oops! luckily no mishaps!)

He rode the merry-go-round, but it wasn't nearly as exciting as the mini roller coaster.

Then we were off to take a spin in the cars. Josh felt like such a man. He insisted on sitting in the driver's seat, & also that I keep my hands off my steering wheel. HE wanted to drive!

Later he ditched me for a hotter chick. This little cutie came up to him & asked if he wanted to ride the fishies with her. It was maybe the cutest thing ever! So the two of them rode the fishies off into the sunset...literally, they rode the fishies until the park closed. It was true love!

What an evening it was! Food, fun, friends & fishies at Funderland, the makings for a perfect Friday night! (okay, I'll stop with the F's already.)

not pictured: baby Sam (too busy sleeping)

mr. mom

Joshua loves his baby, I mean really loves his baby! I think these pictures do all the talking...

One day Sam will appreciate Josh. Right?

i happy

Last week we took the kids to the lake. When we were driving home I heard Joshua's little voice say "I happy, Mom!" Then he asked, "You happy Mom?" I told him that I was very happy. He went on to ask Jon, "You happy Dad?" It was the sweetest, cutest thing ever! It brought tears to my eyes. I guess I'm still hormonal, hence the tears. But really, is there anything sweeter?

my boys

Okay, I knew this would happen. Over night my baby became a very big boy.

Joshua has been doing really well lately. Last night Jon & I were discussing how amazed we are with Joshua & how normally he's developed after all he's been through. He has always been really good at speaking, but just recently he's been putting sentences together. He's been putting 2 words together for quite a while, but it still amazes me that he's growing up so fast. It feels like overnight he went from asking "momma, bottle?" to "I want my bottle!" He's a smart little guy! I think back to his last dr. appointment when I was asked if he could say at least 10 words...he is light years ahead of where anyone expects him to be.
As far as his new role as big brother, he's doing better each day. He would get sad every time I nursed the baby the first few days, but now Josh tells me to feed Sam if he get fussy. Luckily we've been blessed with a very mellow baby who doesn't do much crying, he's been so pleasant, and so very lovable! I think it'd take more of a toll on the rest of the kids if he were a really fussy, high maintenance little guy. So things are going well overall, but I know Josh well enough to know that he still doesn't quite feel settled with all of the changes that come with a new baby. I imagine that will fade with time.
But in the mean time, I can't deny that he does in fact enjoy being the "big brother" and does a good job at it!

big brother...

Baby Sammy arrived last Tuesday & Josh has been busy taking good care of his sweet little brother! We are so excited to have Sam and we've had a really good first week with him! He is extremely pleasant & calm. He's been sleeping through the night, stirring a few times for milk & falling straight to sleep again. We couldn't be happier!