Friday, June 03, 2011

check up

Wow. It's been a l-o-n-g time since I've posted anything at all. But that's a good thing in this case. Joshua is doing so well with his new & improved heart that I forget there's anything wrong inside that chest of his at all. His attitude, well that's another story.  The emotional aspect of recovery has been a bumpy road, but we count our blessings that his heart is doing so well. 
Joshua had a check up today & everything looked absolutely perfect! His sats - - - 96!!! That's normal, even for a healthy person! Pretty awesome.

 I wasn't expecting such a huge improvement after the Fontan. I suppose I didn't want to be let down if the results weren't what I was hoping for.  But now that he's recovered & life is back to normal (sans the good attitude) I can honestly say I didn't see it coming! The boy runs & doesn't lose his breath. He can keep up with the other kids, no problem...finally!  He notices it too & says that he feels "super strong" now. 
As for the emotional aspect of this journey he's been on, it's been tough. Joshua used to be really happy all of the time, prior to surgery. But surgery & recovery were very difficult for Joshua & hard to understand. He's 3 years old for heavens sake! The child life specialist at UCSF told us that after all he'd been through we should expect that he'd need to release all of that pent up emotion. As I mentioned, Joshua used to be so happy & so silly, but that seems to be a distant memory these days.  He has done a lot of crying, he seems impossible to please & has been angry.  I have to remind myself what he's been through, because it's very difficult to get the brunt of it.  He needs patience, compassion & a little lenience, however his sunburn side is out in full force and when you give him an inch of lenience, he takes a mile. So it's been a tricky balance for us. 
About 3 weeks ago Jon took Joshua on a camp out. Just the two of them. They spent some good quality one on one time together. Joshua came back beaming & telling me story after story of their adventure. It was so refreshing to see him light up, the way he used to. Since that camping trip I feel like we are seeing pieces of our old Joshua each day. I was feeling almost hopeless about a month ago & very overwhelmed. As I sit here typing this I can say that I'm now hopeful that time will heal these emotional wounds & our silly goose will be back for good.  We've sure missed his goofy laugh & his mischievous ways...but whether he likes it or not, he can't help but find trouble with his little side kick Sammy.  I imagine next month I'll be posting about some sort of crazy plan my boys hatched up & have forgotten this hurdle we are trying to get behind us.
Anyway, life is good. Despite this trial we are SO happy knowing that Joshua's heart is doing so well & that he can play all day & not lose his breath any more!