Over the past couple of weeks I've noticed Josh has been getting short of breath at times when he normally wouldn't. It has gotten to the point that climbing the stairs leaves him huffing & puffing for a couple of minutes. It makes me so sad to see him work hard doing everyday activities. I know that it comes with the territory, but for so long he's shown no signs that he has any health issues. So I guess I've convinced myself that he's healthy, when in reality he's got a very serious heart defect. I do my best not to dwell on "what if..." because I just want to enjoy every second while he's thriving. I don't want to waste that time worrying, & then one day look back at his life with regret that we didn't enjoy it, rather we spent all of our time worrying. I guess everyone copes with a sick child in their own way, but for me, denial works just fine. I feel like it's healthy, I feel like it allows him to live a totally normal life. Maybe I'm wrong.
Anyway, I can't deny that I see him struggling a bit more each day and so we're headed in to see Dr. Rivera tomorrow. I can't imagine him saying "He's doing great!" like we're so used to hearing. I don't see how that can be possible, based off his shortness of breath over the past few weeks.
I am praying that he just needs a "tune up" in the form of a cath. I say that as if it's easy. It isn't, but it's better than the alternative.
Anyway, that's the latest, please pray that Joshua will remain as strong and healthy as possible. Also that his nerves will be calmed as he goes through another day of appointments. Thank you so much for checking in on Joshua. I'll update when I know what's going on (that's the plan anyway).
12 comments:
I keep wondering what kind of parent I will be when Hope comes home. I tend to live in denial too, but I know that her heart defect will impact every part of her life as well as the boys.
I will continue praying that Josh gets more strength and I will definitely pray for good news from the cardiologist.
You are in my thoughts and prayers every day.
Paula
Please be a "tune up".
We're praying for you Josh (you too Ali and Jon)!
xoxo and lots of love from your NY cousins!!!
I sure hope that it is a cath needed. I can convince myself, too, that Josh is healthy based on all of the stories. I hope your nerves are calmed as well.
Let's hope it is just a stinky collateral vein trying to divert his oxygenated blood flow and a little O2 and a trip to the cath lab will make him better than ever! Good luck!
josh-josh, grandma told me you weren't feeling your best. i'm sorry to hear that. we think of you every day & are always impressed by how smart, strong & funny you are. we'll continue to say prayers for you & your little heart. i know you like dr. rivera, so i hope you feel comfortable in his care tomorrow. we sure hope you hear good news because you deserve nothing but the best! love you, little buddy!
Poor Joshie. I'm sure he's fine and nothing a little heart cath won't fix (we say it as if it's easy). We'll say a few prayers for him. There are days where I am in total denial and Owen is perfectly normal. Others, I am slapped in the face with his broken heart. I prefer the denial days.
We're sending our best thoughts your way, Joshie! Good luck with the appointment, maybe candy or a new toy hidden in your purse will help?
Good luck at your appointment. I don't think it's going to be anything major, just Joshua doing some major growing!! Not to mention that other things come about when they get older that might look like it's due to his heart, but could be something as simple as allergies!!!
Thinking good thoughts!
I'm with you - I pretend we're normal as much as possible. I think these guys deserve it. We'll deal with reality when we absolutely have to. I hope everything is ok and Josh gets his energy back soon.
Praying his appointment goes well today! I live in denial too...so glad I'm not the only one :) keep us updated and know that we care!
I will definitely keep Josh in my prayers. He is such an awesome little boy!
Hope the appointment went well.
I know what you mean about the denial. I sometimes remind myself that he has a serious heart defect because it is so easy to not think about while he is doing so well. I will keep Josh in my prayers, I hope that if anything needs to be done, its nothing major. I hope your appt went well!
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